Perfection in Imperfection

Scott posted some thoughts over the weekend about a Youtube video featuring Jeanette Sorrelle's harpsichord solo in the first movement of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 5. This comment that he made on Facebook really rung for me:

     "I love hearing Bach played with some rubato, some feeling, rather than as an exercise in metronome-following."

As I reflected on that, I really got to thinking about confronting my inner perfectionist and a few random thoughts came to mind..

Firstly, I was reminded of two quotes from The Last Samurai. Specifically,

     " A perfect cherry blossom is a rare thing. You can spend your whole life looking for one, and it will not be a wasted life."

And later in the movie, referring to said cherry blossoms:

     "Perfect. They are all perfect." 


After thinking about that, I was reminded of this photo that I took several years ago of the Ski Train during a snowstorm:

This photo has always been one of my personal favorites, but I've always had two problems with it. I had always found myself wishing that the full neon of the "Union Station Travel by Train" sign was lit. And I've always had issues with the pentagonal forms of the out of focus snowflakes (caused by the 5 bladed iris of the lens I was using). Now I realize that both imperfect elements add to the whole of the shot.

Upon reflecting a bit, I finally understood something that a friend told me years ago. Perfectionism is OK to pursue as a journey, but not as a destination. We can't be perfect, and sometimes it's the imperfections of life that give it color and interest and make it something more than an "exercise in metronome-following."

Many thanks to Scott and Carl for their input that led to this "ah ha!" moment!

Do All the Things!

Those of you that have known me for any length of time have probably watched me struggle with my inner Renaissance Soul quite a bit. There were several posts throughout the course of my 366 project dedicated to the matter and I waffled back and forth on my thoughts about the book that Sue recommended for me -- The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstine.

I last left the whole battle on the idea that I was going to focus on a few of the strongest interests and try to forget about everything else. That hasn't been working too well. The biggest problem with trying to implement this theory in my life is that when I look at life, I'm fascinated by all of it and the voice inside my head is saying, "Do all the things!!!!" Trying to stifle that only seems to cause more problems for myself.

In the past month or so, these are just some of the "projects" that have caught the attention of my ever-interested mind:

• - The most recent interest is in learning to play clarinet. Cathy gave me her old clarinet from her band days. I think I realize that I'm a Renaissance Soul when it comes to musical instruments more than in any other aspect of my life. Over the years I've learned at least the basics of the following instruments: piano, recorder, French horn, ukulele, electric bass, trumpet and now clarinet. Oddly, as much as I'd enjoy mastering any one of them (with piano being at the top of that list), it's actually as much or more fun to learn the rudiments of a wide variety of instruments for me personally.
• - I've really been thinking about architecture a lot lately. More than I usually do. I'm still pursuing the Art and Architecture of Denver project, but I've decided to try and take this particular interest in a different direction. I bought a used drafting board on the internet's favorite auction site. At the moment I've really been having ideas for Art Deco/Streamline Moderne running through my head. I plan to play a little bit with the drafting board and see if I can put some of the ideas bouncing around upstairs in a more concrete form on paper.
• - After taking a trip to the Denver Art Museum with a friend who is a painter, I find myself at least wanting to learn a little bit more about art and art history. I think I'd also like to try my hand at painting at some point. The trip to the DAM was amazing for me. I've gone through life thinking that I knew a fair amount about artistic elements like light and color. In a few hours, I realized that I know nothing, LOL. I know several pro photographers that advise all photographers to take a class in some other form of art. I understand why they recommend doing so now.
• - I've got a couple of multi-track barbershop projects going again. I heard a TTBB version of You'll Never Walk Alone that I absolutely knew I had to try recording with the other members of the Quartet of Chris (we kicked out one of the tenors...he was too much of a prima donna). I found the sheet music to it and am in the process of learning the parts. I have yet to do much with the video features of my Noink cameras yet, so I need to look into that before I start recording. I've also been playing with my "musical sandbox" (MuseScore) and finally completed a barbershop tag arrangement of Bittersweet Symphony. Now I just need to figure out if I was too ambitious with the tenor part. I have the tenor posting on a high F for something like 8 or 10 measures (I don't have my arrangement in front of me as I type). To date, I haven't been able to sing that note that long, but I'm working on it. And one of these days I have to record Lida Rose because, come on, every barbershop quartet on earth has to record Lida Rose!
• - I really need to start focusing on the Colorado Grain Elevator project again. I think I tailed off a little during the summer months because I don't like shooting elevators under high sun. Getting elevators way out on the eastern plains is a lot easier to do when one can shoot all day long from late fall to early spring. After doing the wedding book project for Mark and Katie, I decided that I'd like to self publish some of my own work, and the elevator project is at the top of that list.
• - While I haven't done so this week because of my sleep schedule getting messed up by a late summer surge of heat, I've been trying to run a lot again. I'm scheduled for a 10K on September 7th and have been rolling around the idea of doing another half marathon this year. And of course, there's the ultimate goal of completing the full marathon. This particular interest is one of the hardest to reconcile with the problems inherent to Renaissance Souls that I discuss below.
• - The list of books I want to read just keeps getting longer and longer and longer. This also proves problematic for my inner Ren Soul because my reading interest on any given day can change. But I don't like to have multiple books going at any one time because I get plots and ideas mixed up.

Believe it or not, that's just some of the interests at the moment. I think they're enough to illustrate the point, though. Beyond the interests that I'm actually pursuing, there are still more that I can't really figure out how to fit in. One of the things that I find about myself is that I truly have an interest in anything. I went out to Fourmile Historic Park for one of their living history days a few weeks ago, and I was as equally interested in blacksmithing as I was spinning yarn. I realize the latter may not seem like the most masculine of pursuits, but I'm still fascinated by the details of how it all works. There's a part of me that wanted to try my hand at blacksmithing and at spinning yarn by the time the day was done. It's just how I'm wired.

The biggest problem, of course, is that we're all creatures of limited resources. Every hobby requires an investment of time and money to get anywhere with it. I think this is the biggest problem I face when I confront my inner Ren Soul. How does one go through life when one wants to try just about everything one comes across? I think I need to re-read the book that I referenced at the beginning of this blog because it did have some ideas how to channel the Ren Soul randomness in a useful manner.

The biggest idea that I've personally had is that I try to direct all of my passions towards the photo hobby. Photography is obviously the one interest that continues throughout my life. It's also the one that I think I happen to be better than just "good" at, too (more on this below). If I can direct the interests towards photography, I can engage in new interests in a way that satisfies the inner Ren Soul while being productive at something I'm already pretty good at. The Art and Architecture of Denver project is a perfect example of this. While I'm sure I'd love to get in touch with my inner FLW, the fact is that I don't have the time to dedicate to designing truly spectacular Prairie Style homes. However, I can look at the Frank Milton House in northwest Denver and figure out how to best portray one of the area's best Prairie Style homes, photographically (that photo, btw, is not the best I can do of that subject...it's just the only one I had available at the moment!)

The other big problem I run into when confronting my inner Ren Soul is that I want to be Mozart at everything I try. Let me explain. Mozart was pretty much the anti-Renaissance Soul. Mozart was about music. All about music. He lived it, breathed it, mastered it. It was the one pillar of his life. Because of that, he could direct all of his passion and amazing talent at making the most of his interest as he could. And he was very, very good indeed. I'm not like that. 

Because I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 647 interests, give or take a few, it's hard for me to dedicate a lot of time to any single one. Apparently, I'm not smart enough to realize this, though. Every time I sit down at the piano, I want to play Liszt's Second Hungarian Rhapsody like Marc Andre Hamelin (go look for him on YouTube if you don't know who I'm talking about...well worth your time!). When I think about architecture, I want to understand it like Paul Goldberger or design buildings like Louis Sullivan. When I run, I set goals that are simply way beyond my capabilities and training level. Even with photography, which is the interest that I'm best at, I still don't achieve what I'd like to with a camera. I'm better at this and I'm improving all the time. Still, I'm not Galen Rowell or David Plowden.

It's taken awhile for me to understand that it's OK to fall short of lofty goals. Being a Ren Soul means that I can be at least kind of good a really, really wide variety of talents. That can be both fun and incredibly useful. I can strike up a conversation with just about anybody and be able to have a halfway intelligent discussion about something that interests him or her. While I may not pursue their interest(s) to the same level, I can at least understand the basics and where he or she is coming from. Like I said, useful.

Finally starting to understand this has allowed me to realize my life potential as a Ren Soul, too. Life makes more sense to me and is a lot more fun to experience when I'm not trying to shoehorn myself into a few interests. Allowing myself to try new things, even if it's just a little taste, gives me an inner satisfaction that simply wasn't present when I tried to stick to the three interest thing that I tried to impose on myself. The idea of giving photography the "Mozart" treatment (e.g. dedicating more time, effort and money towards it) but still allowing myself to try new and different hobbies at a lower level seems to be working well for me right now.

Oh yes, obviously you all realize that blogging happens to fall into the realm of Ren Soul pursuits for me. So when you see a half dozen entries in the next few weeks or so and then I disappear for few months again, I hope you'll understand. ;-)

Lace 'em Up!

Alright, so my marathon insurance didn't work quite the way I wanted/hoped it would. Rather than just throw away $80 in marathon registration fees, I've decided to transfer my registration to the half marathon and complete that. The downside is that I haven't been training at all and I now have 6 weeks to get myself ready to run 13.1 miles again. The upside is that now I've really got to focus and can't slack in the slightest anymore.

It's time to step it up anyways. I'm adapted to the new job and commute. I'm done with Holy Week at church so I don't have nearly the same amount of time in practice anymore. The days are longer and warmer. No more excuses. It's time to lace up the running shoes and go.

Mentally, I'm ready, too. The minute I switched my registration and knew that I was committed to the goal again, I got *that* feeling again. The one where I know this is gonna be a pain in the butt, but the rewards at the end will be worth it. And now I get to run through the zoo (which I wouldn't have been able to do on the full marathon), so I'm pumped. This is just the jolt I needed and once again, I'm starting to be able to visualize that 26.2 sticker on my car again.

Let's do this.

Not Quite Dead Yet (and Some Thoughts on a New Toy)

Hello all,

First of all, I'd like to offer my sincere apologies for my absence recently. I didn't do quite as well as I would have liked in the transition to the new job. Logistics like building commute time into my schedule and organizing my non-work commitments around the new job schedule didn't go quite as smoothly as I would have liked. Unfortunately, the commitment to the new blog was one of the biggest casualties of all of that. However, I seem to be getting a handle on things again and hope to resume a more consistently updated blog again.

I learned a long time ago that the things that one can write best about are the things that one is most passionate about. The three "f's" (faith, family and friends) are probably the only subjects that I'm more passionate than photography about. The latter is probably the simplest subject to ease back into the blogging lifestyle with, though, so I'm going to give a brief overview of my latest purchase complete with some example photographs.

I decided last month that there were two main holes left in my transition to the Nikon system -- a back-up camera body and an ultrawide angle lens. I had actually decided to address the former first once I sold my K-5 that I finally picked up from repair. However, in the interim, I made the mistake of renting a lens from www.lensrentals.com. I only call it a mistake because it really pushed me to go for the ultrawide first. A brief aside about LensRentals: Roger runs a top notch business and I would not hesitate to recommend his operation to anyone. The rental process was easy, the lens arrived quickly and the rates were similar to what I would have paid locally with a much, much larger selection of gear. Big kudos to them.

At any rate, I was toying with the idea of renting either the Tokina 16-28mm f2.8 or the Sigma 12-24mm f4.5-5.6 II for a weekend outing just to get a feel for one or the other. I liked the speed of the former, especially for trying out some Milky Way stuff this summer, but I can't help but admit that the crazily wide view of the latter did call to me as well. Ideally, the Nikon 14-24mm f2.8 would fill both roles (and do so with state of the art optical performance!), but my wallet couldn't afford a copy of that. After consulting with KR a little bit, I decided to try out the Siggy Superwide.

One wouldn't think that something as trivial as a casual 5 day rental of a lens would spur one to make an $850 purchase at lunch following the return of said lens, but there it was. Over the 5 days, I came home with two portfolio grade images plus a slew of others that are at least pretty good. That sort of production can't go unnoticed, especially considering that I really wasn't trying all *that* hard to get stuff. These were just images that kind of popped up around town. I'm really curious to see how this thing will perform once I actually do take it out on a shoot with subject matter that I'll be working harder to photograph.

First things first. 12mm is really, really, mind alteringly wide. The difference between it and even 14mm is dramatic. Compared to lesser ultrawides, it's just in another category. It really takes a bit of time to learn how to see with such an exotic focal length. With a little contemplation, though, it offers creative outlets to the photographer that simply aren't possible any other way. A well executed 12mm photo will bring the viewer into the photo like no other lens can.

The next thing that struck me about the lens is that it doesn't necessarily have to seem cartoonishly wide. There are two separate reasons for this. The first is a little technical. Unlike its predecessor -- the Mk. I version of the 12-24mm -- which was actually a pretty rectilinear lens, the Mk. II exhibits some barrel distortion at 12mm. In non critical applications (e.g. architectural photography with straight lines at the edges of the frame), this actually helps kill off the sttttrrrreeettttcccchhhh that is one of the defining hallmarks of ultrawide photography. This becomes readily apparent when one tries to correct the barrel distortion in post processing. The photo loses a little bit of the field of view and the edges do get that stretchy look to them.

Even more important is the careful use of composition when using the lens, especially at the wider focal lengths. It is of utmost importance to keep the camera level and avoid having compositional elements of known size and shape towards the edges of the frame. Putting a person, for instance, at the edge of the frame is a really bad idea because the lens will stretch them into proportions that look awkward at best. However, elements that can vary in size like bushes don't give as much of a sensation of the wide angle stretch.

I've found that the lens can also be used to deliberately showcase such composition for dramatic effect. Take this shot of Rio Grande Southern Galloping Goose No. 2, for instance:

The camera was deliberately tilted down, and there are elements of known sizes and proportions (other RR rolling stock) at the edges of the frame. It's quite wacky looking, I admit, but I think it's still a successful photo. At least it's not another wedge-o-matic shot of a railroad subject...

So how does the lens perform? I guess that's going to depend on your tastes. It is NOT a Nikon 14-24mm f2.8. Used wide open, especially at the extremes of the zoom range, the corners won't look all that great. When possible, it really makes sense to stop the lens down to f8 or f11. Even then, the corners aren't going to be critically sharp, but I find that they're more than adequate. Pixel peepers may disagree. I just consider it the price that one must pay to use such a unique lens.

The other really negative bit about the lens is that it can flare really, really badly, even when the light source isn't in the frame. Even the mighty Nikkor isn't free from flare, though. Again, it's just part of the price of admission. Being mindful of light sources can help minimize flare, but it's going to show up from time to time. Not much you can do about it.

There's also one other potential pitfall for filter users. I rarely use filters, so the extreme lengths that would be needed for filter use isn't really a problem for me, but it may be for other users. The two part hood/lens cap can provide standard filter threads at the longer focal lenths, but this solution is only really viable in the 20-24mm kind of range. Use of filters at wider focal lengths will require creativity and a lot of money. Personally, I'd work on honing HDR abilities instead of trying to adapt a split ND filter, but that's just me. YMMV.

Beyond that, there isn't much to say. This is just a really unique optic that gives a photographer compositional opportunities not available any other way. It requires learning to see in new ways so be prepared for some failures early on (I'm really, really surprised that I was able to adapt as quickly as I did) and be sure to watch that your feet aren't in your photo! The rewards after those caveats are manifold and dramatic. Highly recommended.

Here are a few shots that I really liked from the new toy:

Starting to Understand

In the past, I could never understand why the people around me disliked snow so much. To me, snow was an essential ingredient in making winter the season that it is. After a nearly snowless winter, Denver has finally been seeing its share of crystalline dihydrogen monoxide. Of course, all of it has started to come just as I've started to commute to work. I started my new job a week ago today and in that time I've had 3 commutes of more than an hour one way thanks to Mother Nature. I think I'm starting to understand why the world doesn't necessarily share my sunny outlook for snowy days. I won't say that I'm a complete grump about it yet, but I definitely groan just a little bit any time the weather forecasters start talking about snow, especially when it could affect my commute.

By next winter, I think I'll definitely have to be looking around for a new home someplace closer to the new job. And then I'll be able to enjoy winter to the fullest again.

Also, as a housekeeping note, the weather and my schedule have kept me away from libraries and coffee shops of late, so that's what's driving the lack of posts. I'm working on ways to better manage time right now and hope to have more posts on a regular basis soon.

Mile High Places - Equitable Building and Brown Palace Hotel

Hello All,

Sorry about the lack of posts lately. I'm focusing on getting settled into the new job and the life adjustments related to it. I'll have some thoughts on both in the coming days.

For now, I thought I'd share some shots from one of my ongoing projects. I call this project Mile High Places. It focuses on the art and architecture around the Denver Metro area. Last weekend I was out with KR wandering around downtown. I'm really happy how these two shots from two of Denver's classic buildings turned out:

The first shot is from the Equitable Building which was (and arguable still is) one of Denver's preeminent office buildings. While it's been surpassed in size, it's hard to imagine it being surpassed in grandeur. When was the last time that someone built a new office building in Denver featuring a lobby with 6.1 million hand laid mosaic tiles in the lobby and Tiffany stained glass windows? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I also like the shot of atrium at the Brown Palace Hotel which is featured in my second image. I really liked this angle taken from the fifth floor. The atrium really doesn't seem this perfectly pentagonal. The true pentagon shape can be seen in the design of the rug in the atrium. The wide angle lens and position of the camera that I used exaggerated things a little bit. While it would never make it as a documentary architectural shot, I'd like to think that it's a successful photograph.

I'm really hoping to ramp up this project soon as the days get longer. I'm making notes on buildings that would be easy to photograph on my morning or evening commute. I'll be sure to make some more blog posts as I get more shots.

Endings and Beginnings

I'm in the midst of the two day unemployment period betwixt jobs and it gave me occasion to stop and think about endings and beginnings a little bit. All day Friday I kept thinking of a line from the Semisonic song, Closing Time: "Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." I think it really does a wonderful job of capturing what I was thinking about all day on Friday.

There were a lot of mixed emotions for me Friday, and indeed the whole of my two weeks after I gave notice at my old job. One doesn't just up and leave someplace after spending 12 years of one's life there without stopping and thinking about the past. I have a lot of really good memories there and I know that I'll live in legend at the office for a long time to come (trust me, there are some great stories that really deserve legend status). I think about deciding to move to Colorado 12 years ago to be closer to the mountains that I love so much and the stability that the job provided me. There was excitement at that new beginning and there's some regret to be leaving some of that behind.

Like the line from the song says, though, every new beginning must come at the expense of some other beginning's end. I think that I had gotten into a rut in life at my last job and I really felt that if I intend to grow further it was time for a change. It was a decision that I made with some trepidation. As I mentioned in a previous post, I think we as humans crave the comfort of the known. And yet we're meant to grow and sometimes that growth can only occur by trying something new, sometimes radically new.

And so here I sit at the end of one beginning and the start of a new one. As Monday morning gets closer and closer I feel the excitement at the thought of the new beginning starting to erase some of the fear and regret about leaving the past behind. I will always be grateful to TBCCI for the 12 years of memories that they provided me and I am glad that we were able to part ways amicably. And I look forward to establishing a new set of memories at BBC.